Breast’es’es & Spindlegrin’in’in (145)

Hello, bary here, bringing you another episode of

Spindlegrin or “Free Louisa”

A tragedy in 2387 installments.
(Lokimon- A game for 2-4 fat kids on medication for
ADD)
Part 145
The story so far;
Loki has once more been trapped beneath the clean room
as punishment by the evil middle management.

His magnetic diet has led to some physiological
changes, but as of yet he is not aware of his
developing supra-powers. We join him 6 meters under
the process floor, where……….

Loki and Genie have just been interrupted mid-argument
by a defunct abstract concept named Dakron. The Genie
has just pointed out that Dakron sounds a lot like
John Peel and an uncomfortable silence follows. (You
know how it is when you meet new people and you are
not drunk enough to start talking about The Simpson’s
and sex without prior invitation).

Just then the mints in defiance to Loki’s educated
guesses burst into song again…

Why don’t you fuck off Thomas Dolby,
We don’t serve the likes of you ’round here
You Fucking looser, Thomas Dolby,
We aren’t gonna sell you any Beer.

Thomas Dolby lived in 1980,
He once met Nick Kershaw,
I hear he had two hit records,
That nobody’s seen nor heard.

Why don’t you fuck off Thomas Dolby,
We don’t serve the likes of you ’round here
You Fucking looser, Thomas Dolby,
We aren’t gonna sell you any Beer.

His music was rather Tacky,
He only once had a beard,
He used too many synthesizers
Obscurity was one thing he feared.

But now his records melted down,
And turned into a plastic gown,
You’ll often see him wear a frown,
The only reason for trips to town,

(Are to buy the cheapest meths, so,)

Go and fuck off Thomas Dolby,
We don’t serve the likes of you ’round here
You Fucking looser, Thomas Dolby,
We aren’t gonna sell you any Beer.

“Oi like your mints!”
Everyone turned around at Piglung’s head sticking out
of the fire-box.

“Do you want one?”
asked Loki grinning menacingly from ear to ear. The
mints remained unusually silent while vibrating
quietly from time to time. He pointed the end of the
tube at Piglung.
“URRRGH!”
replied Piglung, recoiling after glancing at the
packet.
“I’d eat them myself but I’d probably end up with the
little bastards singing in my lower intestines for
days.”
Agreed Loki
“That I could live with.”
Said Piglung
“But they’re spearmint flavour! What possessed you to
buy those?”

THE LEGEND OF HOW LOKI GOT THE MINTS.

A long time ago (last Tuesday) Loki was in need of
some big assed carbohydrates to offset the attacks of
hypoglycemia that result from eating the canteen food
in IBM where the cheese has negative calories and the
bread is made of wood. After many seconds of
searching, he reached the LEGENDARY VENDING MACHINE OF
KUM’DHUM’BAYE. Alas Glenda the Clean Room Protocol
Witch had put a terrible curse on the machine. So it
was not until Loki had put 50p into the machine that
the display started to scroll the words that the many
primitive people who live on mud all day will never
mention,
EXACT CHANGE REQUIRED
Upon the pressing of ‘E’ and ‘3’ he acquired his bar
of Tiffin. But at what price? He was unable to
cancel the transaction before buying the Tiffin as
somebody had put chewing gum on the end of the coin
return button and so rather than let the evil caterers
have the change the bought the only thing priced at
15p, a dusty packet of spearmint POLO mints.

Most bits(C)Loki 2000. Extra bits (C)BO’C 2000

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